Robin's Song
by Dame Selena
Summary: Katniss' dad from when he was 12 years old to the day he died. Robin Everdeen ponders the hard questions in life as he copes with losing his brother to the Hunger Games, marrying the apothecarist's daughter, the unsettling atmosphere in District 12 and his children growing up. Beta read by Stuart Pidasso, thank you. Sequel to Locked and Loaded. REPOST
1. Chapter 1

**Robin's Song**

"A hundred Gil, take it or leave it." The graying apothecarist crossed his arms at peered over his glasses at the scruffy boy in front of him.

Twelve-year-old Robin almost dropped his bag in shock. "But licorice root has always been worth twenty per ounce!" he protested, but he might as well been arguing with a brick wall for it did because the austere man refused to back down.

"Well demand's gone down this season and it's only worth ten. If you have a problem with that go elsewhere," he snapped and pointed to the door.

Robin glowered at him beneath his twitching brow. He knew the herbs were worth twenty but the apothecarist was only trying to rip him off because he was a kid.

If it was Raven he wouldn't try to bargain me down, he thought angrily. A familiar stab of pain went through his chest when he thought of his brother and for a moment sadness flashed across his young face.

There was a rustle as a pale hand pulled back the curtain from from the back room and the apothecarist's daughter emerged. Lovely as freshly fallen snow her angelic face was like something out of a picture, almost too beautiful for grim District 12. Having heard the commotion she turned pleadingly to her father. "Please father, you know Robin's lost his brother and-"

A sharp whistling sound flew across the room and Robin flinched on instinct but the smack wasn't intended for him.

It wasn't just the community home kids that came to school with bruises and angry red marks on their skin. Everybody knew that old man Keyton took out his anger on his family for the brash man never bothered hiding his demeanor. Rarely did he ever smile and cold-hearted Mrs Keyton, if anything was worse.

Ruth's eyes went wide and she raised a hand hesitantly to her face. Robin looked away in embarrassment, but to her credit she didn't cry. In some ways she was stronger than him, and he had a grudging respect for her because of that.

Disgusted by the apothecarist, Robin grabbed the money from the counter and ducked out of the store, the violent jingling of the bell at the door ringing behind him as he took off running down the street.

.

The next day at school he noticed a dark mottled purple-blue bruise on her cheek. She was more quiet and withdrawn as usual, even when her friend Maysilee gave her a hug and whispered something in her ear.

Robin leaned in but he couldn't hear what they were saying, he was sitting too far away from them at the back of the class. After all, that's where the other kids from the Seam always sat.

The merchant kids kept to themselves usually at the front of the class near the windows, a small smudge of gold against a sea of coal.

Robin stared at the wall to the right and tapped his pencil against his book, imaging the swaying trees of the forest veiled by encroaching night.

While the teacher droned on about coal byproducts, the girl beside him tapped his leg. "Psst, Robin," she hissed before furtively tossing a square folded note onto his desk.

He grabbed the note before the teacher could see and wondered who it was for before seeing his own name scrawled on the top.

Who could it be from? he wondered, he didn't have any friends to pass notes with.

Robin made sure the teacher had the back to the class before unfolding the note under the desk. The first thing that he noticed was the neat cursive handwriting which meant the note came from a girl.

Dear Robin, meet me at the old oak tree after school at 4.

-Ruth

Before he could puzzle out the meaning of the note the bell rang and he hastily stuffed it in his bag to head to his next class. For the rest of the day he wondered why Ruth would want to meet him, and in the end it was curiosity that brought him to the old oak tree.

After school he hovered awkwardly, wondering if it was just a cruel joke and Ruth was actually laughing at him behind his back with her friends over the stupid community home boy. With increasing agitation he couldn't think of a reason that a merchant girl would actually want to meet him.

But no, Ruth wasn't that like, that she was nice, the kind of girl who rescued stray kittens and left hand-knit hats outside for whoever needed them to take. She wouldn't stand him up, would she?

Robin didn't have a wristwatch so he glanced at the elongating shadow of the tree, trying to gauge the time and figure out if she was late. He allowed a few more minutes to pass before deciding to return to the community home when he heard a voice crying his name from behind.

"Robin! I'm sorry, did I keep you waiting long?" she panted. "I had to run an errand right after school and it took longer than I thought."

"No, it's fine," he said, half lying, half happy to see her. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

Ruth pulled out an envelope from her satchel and handed to him with both hands. "Here. After you left father felt so badly about the way he treated you that he wanted to make up the difference."

Her hopeful smile against her ugly bruise told him everything.

He held up a hand to refuse to envelope. "I don't need your charity," he replied curtly. There was a better chance of being hit by a meteor than old man Keyton ever feeling bad about his behaviour, Ruth must have taken it out of her own pocket money and there was no way he was going to put himself in her debt.

"Oh but Robin," her face crumpled.

"Keep your money," he said. "I don't need it." Robin turned away and began back to the community home, but a strange feeling gnawed at him. Looking back, he could see the hurt expression on Ruth's face before she sharply turned away. A strange feeling hit him in the stomach, but he had no idea what it was.

The next day at school there was a second note on his desk. He sighed and unfolded it under his textbook.

The Capitol doctor in town wants to get into traditional medicine. -Ruth

Happiness fluttered in his chest like a butterfly but quickly turned into lead when he realized he still owed Ruth for the information. After all, nothing came free in District 12. Later he would have to find a way to say thank you, but what could he possibly give her in return?

.

In front of his brother's grave he sat cross-legged with his head resting on his hands and stared at the solemn grey tombstone. "Raven, what do girls like?" he asked, even though he knew there would be no answer.

He sat quietly, listening to the gusts of wind as it swirled around the sharp edges of the granite.

Even if there was no reply it made him feel better to talk aloud. Raven was older and wiser and always had an answer for everything. If only he were alive he would know, he would tell Robin what Ruth would like and the right things to say and do.

But Raven wasn't, and there was no one to teach him how to be a man.

* * *

Since the birth of Panem, Spring Harmony Day celebrated more than just the beginning of spring. The day symbolized new beginnings, a new farming season, and new love. To celebrate this day, boys would give small gifts to girls, both potential love interests and also to female family and friends. The shy and introverted also took advantage of the day, finding solidarity in the expected sea of rejections, their torment softened by the holiday.

For weeks Robin had thought long and hard about what he could possibly give to Ruth. He finally decided on a bracelet made with glass beads that he bought with money traded for three fish and a squirrel.

With the gift safely in his pocket, Robin approached Ruth early in the morning as she talked with friends; however, overcome by shyness, he hesitated when he neared her desk. At the last second he hesitated, suddenly feeling shy. It shouldn't be that hard, he scolded himself, all he had to do was hand it to her casually and say, "Happy Spring Harmony Day," that was it.

He was still repeating the words in his head when he felt someone stride past him and stop at Ruth's desk.

"Happy Spring Harmony Day!" chirped Dannel Mellark, stealing the lines that Robin had agonized in his head over and over with ease.

Ruth smiled shyly at him. "Thank you, Dannel." Seeing how the hopeful boy remained at her side, Ruth felt obliged to open her gift. She tugged at the ribbon to reveal a batch of frosted heart-shaped sugar cookies topped with coarse brown sugar.

"Go ahead, try one!"

She picked up a cookie and bit into it daintily. "Oh it's delicious! Did you make it yourself?"

"Yep. I made them just for you," the friendly baker beamed.

Robin felt in his pocket and suddenly realized how shabby his own cheap gift was in comparison.

Dannel turned around as if just noticing him. "Oh Robin, did you have something to give Ruth something as well? I'm not surprised, she's pretty popular," he chuckled.

The baker's son had spoken the truth, for on her desk, gifts from hopeful admirers lay stacked and were in danger of sliding to the floor.

"No," he muttered and looked away, not caring if they thought he was rude. Before anyone could say something he walked back to his desk and laid his head on his outstretched arms, feeling unexplainably frustrated.

.

"Raven, how can you tell if a girl likes you?" He was cross-legged once again, one hand propped against his chin. Raven had claimed he wasn't interested in girls but Robin knew they were interested in him, he could tell by the way girls were always hanging around, begging him to walk to them to school and hinting that he would make a good husband while Robin watched their subtle flirtations and tried not to feel jealous.

But then again Raven was taller and stronger and more handsome than he was. The one thing that Robin had over his brother was his singing.

A rustle in the trees bordering the metal fence caught his attention, and a group of mockingjays peeped out from the swaying branches. He gave a slight smile and began to sing.

'I loved a maid like summer,

with sunshine in her hair'

The sound of approaching footsteps on the cobblestone path startled Robin. He turned to find Ruth hovering hesitantly, an awestruck expression on her pretty features. A gust of wind swept through the cemetery, blowing against her skirts and sweeping her hair back. In that moment it was as if the clouds had suddenly parted, because all Robin could see was her light.

"That was beautiful," she whispered.

"Thanks." Robin looked away awkwardly. He was suddenly embarrassed, as if she had invaded his privacy by learning one of his secrets. His singing was reserved for people he liked, and for the longest time that group consisted of his brother and the mockingjays.

A very long, awkward silence stretched as they stared at each other.

"What are you doing here?" he asked bluntly.

"I was actually looking for you." Glancing out at the forest, Ruth pressed a lily-white hand against her reddening face. "Um, we're running low on milk thistle at the apothecary. Did you see any growing?"

"Yeah I did, do you want me to get some for you?" He got up and dusted off his pants.

"Yes but…." Ruth began fidgeting with her dress as she gnawed her lip. Her large, blue eyes betrayed her nervousness when she asked, "can you...take me under the fence?"

He hesitated. Contrary to the propos that warned them of wild muttations and land mines left over from the Dark Days he knew it was safe. But most people wouldn't dare go under the fence with only a kitchen knife as a weapon and he wondered if Ruth was really okay.

"If you want," he said slowly.

"I do," she said, but her words didn't match the terror on her face.

With sundown only hours away, the pair promptly left the cemetery for the part of the fence located in an abandoned area near the mines. In a secluded spot close to the fence, far from any Peacekeeper patrols, Robin held out a hand towards the wire, sensing for the tingle of the current. The fence was as silent as a stone.

They proceeded further along the tall fence until they reached a two-foot section where the wire passed behind a clump of bushes. Robin laid flat on his belly and slid under the wire with ease.

Hesitantly, Ruth lay flat, and swallowing hard, slid under the fence. Scrambling to her feet, she ran with Robin into the forest.

They slowed down at a hollow log where he retrieved his bow and quiver of arrows and handed Ruth a burlap sack.

"Will you need to use that?" she asked, pointing to his bow.

His lips tightened grimly. "If we run into anything dangerous."

She started twisting the fabric of her skirt nervously in her hands and shuffled closer to him. "Oh."

In the end she didn't have to worry, nothing dangerous sprang out from the forest to meet them. He led her to a grassy patch where a clump of milk thistle, purple puffs on spiky green stalks were growing. They both knelt down and started to fill the bag, working together in silence.

"Robin, I was wondering, did you have a relative from the town?" she asked shyly. "Sometimes in the light I've noticed that your eyes have a more bluish tint than grey."

He shrugged. "I don't know, maybe? But blue, grey they're pretty close in colour." He turned his face away from her intense stare in embarrassment.

"You have a nice voice," she continued. "How come you never joined the school choir?"

"Don't have time," he mumbled and kept his head down. The truth was he spent his free time in the forest hunting and gathering which he then traded for coin. Mr. Davis at the bank took his money even though he was underage in exchange for a small fee and kept it safe for him until he turned eighteen.

She looked at him inquisitively. "I know, you and your brother were always trading in town. What were you two planning to do with the money?"

"Me and Raven, we were saving up to buy a house in the nicer part of the Seam," he confessed.

"There's a nicer part of the Seam?" she blurted out. Then her eyes went wide and she clasped her hands over her mouth. "Oh I'm sorry Robin, that was rude!"

He gave her a side-long glance, wondering if she was making fun of him but she seemed sincerely apologetic.

Still, for the rest of the task they worked in silence. Soon the bag was full and he shoved it in her hands. "Happy Spring Harmony Day," he muttered, not looking at her.

"Thanks Robin, and I hope I didn't offend you." She gave him a quick peck on the cheek and then took off for the fence as if her life depended on it.

Later that day when he was washing dishes with a dozen other children busily cleaning the kitchen he wondered what that kiss on the cheek had meant.

.

It didn't matter though, because when they were fourteen Ruth and Dannel began holding hands in the halls and sitting together at lunch while both their friends teased them mercilessly. They blushed but continued to be inseparable, quickly becoming the most popular couple in their year.

Weeks later, a rumour began to spread that Dannel had proposed to Ruth— and that she had accepted. When this rumour reached Robin, he slammed his locker shut, kicking a new dent into the steel door, why? He couldn't tell. After all they made an attractive couple and Robin pretended that he couldn't care less.

Instead he busied himself with what his brother would have wanted him to do, hunting and staying alive. So he spent increasing amounts of time in the forest by himself, trying to tell himself that whoever was dating who wasn't even worth his attention.

With gritted teeth he let loose an arrow, striking down a plump pigeon mid-flight and jogged to pick it up where it fell. He threw his prize in his bag and jogged back to town for his next trade, ignoring the aching in his chest.

* * *

"Everybody shut the hell up!" Matron hollered. "It's almost time for the mandatory broadcast and all you brats have to listen!"

Everybody quieted down and shuffled to the dismal canteen so they could watch the flickering halo-screen that was set up along the wall. Robin took a seat, more worried than normal about the broadcast. The fiftieth Hunger Games were approaching, which meant a Quarter Quell. Having been focused on this special, more horrifying event for weeks, his stomach had become tied in knots.

As the broadcast began, everybody of reaping age watched impatiently as Caesar Flickerman spewed updates about famous victors, announcing the birth of a Victor's son and another's marriage. Just when Robin thought his rambling would never end, Caesar straightened and said, "As you all know, this year will be the fiftieth anniversary of the Hunger Games, which means our second Quarter Quell is upon us."

Someone sitting close to Robin whispered, "What will they do? It isn't for months yet."

"I dunno," replied another boy. "It can't be good if the president is going to announce it."

The anthem played and Robin's throat tightened with revulsion as President Snow took the stage.

He was followed by a young boy dressed in a white suit, holding a simple wooden box. The anthem ended and President Snow began to speak, to remind them all of the Dark Days from which the Hunger Games were born. When the laws for the Games were laid out which dictated that every twenty-five years the anniversary would be marked by a Quarter Quell. It would call for a glorified version of the Games to make fresh the memory of those killed by the districts' rebellion.

"On the twenty-fifth anniversary, as a reminder to the rebels that their children were dying because of their choice to initiate violence, every district was made to hold an election and vote on the tributes who would represent it." Robin wondered how that would have felt, picking the kids who had to go. It must have been worse, he thought, to be turned over by your own neighbors than have your name drawn from the reaping ball. Apparently the Victor of the first Quarter Quell killed himself soon afterwards, if that was any indication. He turned his attention back to the television.

"And now we honour of the Second Quarter Quell," continued the president. The little boy in white stepped forward, holding out the box as he opened the lid. "On the fiftieth anniversary as a reminder that two rebels died for each Capitol citizen, every district is required to send twice as many tributes."

The president had stopped speaking but it didn't register in his head at first. Only when the boy next to him gave a squeak and a girl from in front fainted did he realize what it meant. He honestly couldn't think of a worse twist, twice as many tributes means facing a field of forty-seven instead of twenty-three, worse odds, less hope, and ultimately more dead kids.

A numbness began to spread from his chest to the rest of his body when he realized it also meant having to survive two Reapings next summer instead of one.

.

The Reaping of the Fiftieth Hunger Games weighed heavily on everyone if the soft sighs and muttered curses in the bleachers were any indication. As if to mock them the weather had graced them with a tantalizing warmth and sun, a light breeze blowing through the brightly-coloured banners while the scent of summer blooms clung to the air and the birds, oblivious to their anguish, tweeted gay melodies.

Despite all of nature's attempts to raise their spirits the fear and uneasiness in the square was palpable and everyone would remember this day as overcast and muggy.

Robin gulped as he signed in and took his place with the rest of the sixteen year olds who were muttering darkly. The stress was so thick he could almost see it, tensions were running high and everybody was wound tighter than a spring.

A loud shout caused him and the others to turn their heads. There was already a fight between two teenagers and the Peacekeepers moved quickly to break it up. Coarse slurs were spat against as the combatants struggled against the armoured Peacekeepers.

He craned his head and recognized one of the teens as Haymitch Abernathy from his class. When he had told Ruth that there were nicer parts in the Seam, he also meant there were also some not-so-nice parts, and that was where Haymitch happened to come from. Every other word out his mouth was something so foul even the community home boy was wincing. Haymitch made a rude gesture at the boy he was fighting with which earned him a cuff around the head by the Peacekeeper restraining him.

Robin shook his head and turned back to the stage, having bigger things to worry about. Relatives of tributes seemed to have a higher chance of getting Reaped, almost too often to be a coincidence. Since his older brother had been reaped, Robin surely thought this worsened his odds. Rubbing his sweaty palms against his pants, he had to choke back the bile in his throat when he saw that the reaping was about to begin.

After the agonizing introductions of the ceremonial opening, the peacock-colored escort from the Capitol drew two names from the girl's bowl. Robin barely took notice until the ditzy Capitol woman plunged her hand into the bowl of slips for the boys. Robin's knees became weak and his arms hung heavily at his sides.

The woman announced the first name.

It wasn't him.

He let out a sigh of relief and held his breath again as the escort's hand returned to the bowl. He couldn't even remember the second name, all he knew was that it wasn't Robin Everdeen and he was so relieved that he almost collapsed.

He was vaguely aware of Haymitch being prodded to the stage and a small part of Robin, a mean and nasty part couldn't help but be glad to see him go. After all, nobody in the District really liked sullen, foul-mouthed Haymitch.

Better him than me, he thought, trying not to feel guilty as he trudged back to the community home, safe for another year.

The next day at school, several desks were empty. Maysilee and Haymitch had been whisked off to the Capitol but Ruth, Mariselle and Haymitch's girlfriend were also absent. Seeing Ruth's empty desk reminded Robin how he barely functioned when the Capitol took his older brother, and something hit him deep in the gut as he remembered how he could barely even bring himself to move when Raven left. Suddenly, he started to feel their pain in a twisted kind of solidarity.

A couple of weeks into the Games, Robin and a few others were cleaning the coal dust which had settled on the school windows when an older girl had run in breathlessly announcing that there was a mandatory broadcast.

The response was immediate, everybody dropped their rags and ran to the canteen. For the first time in ages District 12 had two tributes in the top eight and everybody had been holding their breath that one of them could make it all the way to the top.

Robin skidded into the canteen just in time to see a flock of bright-pink birds on long legs ravaging one of the tributes. He wondered who it was until they scattered, leaving an injured Maysilee gasping in pain. A sigh was released from the entire room when they realized that she was definitely gone.

"Maysilee!" Haymitch shouted. He ran over, knife in hand and knelt beside her. She was in so much pain that she couldn't speak but Haymitch held her hand until the cannon sounded.

As he saw a tear roll down Haymitch's face, Robin's heart broke a little and he regretted how he had misjudged Haymitch. He didn't think Haymitch was capable of compassion, but watching him comfort Maysilee he realized he didn't know Haymitch at all. Now more than ever he hoped that Haymitch could win, he deserved to more than anyone to come back and see the District's regret at how they had mistreated him.

And he did. It was a close match but clever Haymitch managed to use the edge of the arena to return his opponent's ax into her skull.

Everybody in District Twelve cheered, but at school Robin couldn't help but notice a certain desk in the front of the room that continued to stay empty and feel concern for its occupant. He knew Ruth was taking Maysilee's death hard, and he wondered if she would ever be ready to come back.

.

That year there were three new headstones in the tribute graveyard instead of two.

"Nobody talks about you anymore," Robin said softly, laying a hand on his brother's stone grave. "It's all Haymitch this and Haymitch that. People couldn't stand him before he won and now everybody wants to be his best friend. Part of it is because of the parcels. Raven, they're real. Flour, sugar, meat, drums of oil and fine grain, and you don't even have to put your name in the bowl for it."

He paused for a moment to collect himself. Something began to sting in his eyes as he admitted the truth.

"I just wish it hadn't been Haymitch. It should have been you." But who would even remember a boy who had placed third in a Games with no surviving footage when Haymitch Abernathy brought home the crown four years later?

A trickle slid down his cheek as when realized that if everybody forgot about Raven, it would be as if he never even had a brother. So that was why he couldn't forget him, he vowed. That was why he needed to keep on remembering his brother, to keep him alive somewhere in his memories so his existence wouldn't completely disappear.

.

Later that afternoon Robin trudged to the square where the festivities for Haymitch's Victory were set up. He began to stand in line for candied apples before deciding he actually had no appetite and turned to go.

As he turned to leave, he spotted Ruth sitting on a park bench, lovely but wan, far from the merrymaking. Always drawn to her, he approached shyly with his hands in his pockets. "Ruth? Are you okay?"

"Oh, it's you, Robin. Hello." Her voice sounded flat and she kept her eyes on the ground.

He bit his lip wondering what do and say but then she shook her head and got up from the bench. "Let's go somewhere else, I can't stand… this." She pulled him by the sleeve and he followed her to the meadow, the scenery shifting from festive banners to dead grass and weeds.

They were the only ones there, everybody else in the District was enjoying themselves in the square.

"Where's Dannel?" he asked, thinking of her boyfriend.

"Lining up to get some cotton candy for me." She blew out her breath impatiently and crossed her arms across her chest.

"Won't he wonder where you are?"

"I don't care," she blurted out. "I can't stand him anymore." She turned away as if she was ashamed. "I-I mean...I don't even know. He's so nice and so devoted. Everyone likes him, but I…don't love him. Even our parents expect us to get married one day. I already know that's not going to happen. I want break up, except that I don't have a good reason. Augh! I'm sorry I'm boring you but I just don't have any other friends anymore." She sniffed and pulled out her handkerchief.

"Maysilee wasn't just my best friend, she was like a sister. When she was gone I couldn't even get out of bed, I couldn't deal with anything and I'm just a wreck. It hurts Robin, it hurts," she began to cry in earnest. "Dannel tries to understand, he tries so hard but he just doesn't know he's only making it worse. How do you live Robin? How do you go on day by day when the person who was everything to you is dead?"

"I-" he took a deep breath and tentatively reached a hand out to brush her face with his fingers. "I can't give up on life because of the mockingjays."

"What?" She was confused.

"My brother used to say that mockingjays symbolize the strength of the will to live. When the Capitol left Jabberjays to die out they only mated with the mockingbird to give life to the most proliferic bird there is. They're everywhere, reminding me that if they could survive, so can I."

There was a rustle behind them, as a flock of curious mockingjays peeped out from the foliage. Since their ancestors the jabberjays had been bred to eavesdrop on humans, the mockingjays cocked their heads inquisitively and watched the young couple with interest.

"Sing?" she asked, almost pleadingly.

Normally shy, Robin took a deep breath and began to sing a verse from his brother's favourite song.

I hope it's worth it,

What's left behind me,

I know you'll find your own way,

When I'm not with you

And as always they fell silent, and after a polite pause sang the words back to him.

Ruth's eyes widened and her tears seemed to dry up. She turned to him with a mixture of awe and envy. "That was magical, I've never heard anything like it. Thank you, Robin."

He blushed and shrugged bashfully. "I can sing for you any time you like, if you want."

"Would you really?" She looked at him with such intensity he blushed even harder and had to look away.

"Of course. Can we meet tomorrow after school in the field?"

She smiled and gave his hand a squeeze. "It's a date."

The next day, a rumour swept through the school hallways that Ruth and Dannel had broken up. Robin kept his head down and refused to join in the gossip about the school's golden couple, burdened by irrational guilt.

"So do you think Ruth dumped Dannel or the other way around?" Two girls were gossiping in hushed whispers at the water fountain that had been broken ever since he could remember.

"The other way around of course, Ruth's been such a downer recently, she's no fun anymore."

"Yeah I know right? Oh I did my hair differently today, do you think Dannel will notice?"

Robin ignored their whispers and slammed his locker shut. He shouldered this third-hand books over his broken schoolbag and walked out the doors.

He wondered if Ruth had heard the various talk—or if she had been offended. Either way, she never mentioned school when they met that afternoon. Strolling through the meadow, their hardships became a distant dream. They no longer looked away if the other stared too long. The held hands and talked. They smiled at the discovery that both took joy from the simplest things in life.

Later of course new rumours began swirling that Ruth had hit rock bottom when she was slumming with some Seam orphan but she didn't seem to care and he was so blissfully happy he didn't care either. Together, they felt immune to anything the world could throw at them.

.

"She likes me Raven, she actually likes me!" he told his brother excitedly. Seventeen was too old to be acting this childish but with Ruth in his life everything was better. The colours were brighter, birds sounded sweeter, even his bland food was tastier. It was the first time in his life he had ever felt so happy.

His head was so high in the clouds as he thought about Ruth that he didn't even hear the footsteps approaching until he turned around to see, of all people Dannel Mellark. Noticing the bouquet of assorted blooms from the District florist, Robin nodded his respects.

"Visiting your brother, Robin?" he asked pleasantly. "Here." He plucked a violet from his bouquet and placed it across Raven's grave.

"I'm afraid I'm going to start becoming a regular here, Linde was my favourite cousin," he confessed, laying the rest of the bouquet in front of the newest female tribute's grave.

Robin stared at the flowers, then at Dannel's expression, remembering nimble Linde Undersee as doing incredibly well for District 12- until she ran into the Careers.

"I didn't know you were related to the Undersees," he finally said.

"Almost all the merchants are related in some way or another. Ruth is actually my third cousin twice removed, did you know that? At the rate we're going the merchant quarter is going to be more inbred than my family's bakery in a few generations." He gave a small laugh at his own joke.

Robin's hands clenched tightly. "Why are you being so nice to me? You should hate me," he blurted.

Dannel looked up at him with a puzzled frown. "Why? Because Ruth chose you over me?" he said mildly.

Robin nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

Dannel looked away and sighed. "What's the point of all this hatred? It just goes around and around, and who wins? Not us. You know, from the Capitol to District 12 we're all people. How does it make sense for the country you're born in determine whether someone goes to die or watches? I've always thought that maybe if we focused on what was the same instead of what's different, then maybe we would realize we actually have no reason to hate each other."

Robin looked at the baker thoughtfully, seeing him in a new light. A surge of emotion, a mixture respect, remorse, wistfulness struck through his heart as he thought about what the world would be like if it more people like Dannel Mellark were in charge.

But then again, he thought sadly, gentle souls like him were rarer than District 12 victors.


	2. Chapter 2

The warmth of summer turned into crisp autumn as the leaves fell from the trees, then into silent winter blanketed by soft white. He would stare out the windows, watching the falling snow as he shivered in front of the meagre fire in the community home thinking of Ruth trapped in the apothecary in town as the snow drifts built higher and higher. But eventually the long winter melted into spring, the forest bursting alive with foliage and its animal inhabitants timidly coming out of hibernation. Soon he could head off once again to hunt in the forest and bring Ruth a sack full of herbs for the apothecary.

As time passed, he grew older and noticed that he began to resemble his older brother more and more until he saw his brother in every mirror. Though orphaned, with no living family to compare this resemblance, friends who had known his brother began to point out the similarities, saying it was good luck. He didn't know it, but this resemblance would one day save his life.

.

He crawled out from under and fence and hustled back into the District with a wild turkey in hand. It was summer, the best season for hunting as the forest was teeming with fish and fruit and wild game and his bag was full to bursting.

With the recent changes to the transporting of coal, the old district warehouse found a new use. Almost overnight, the large building turned into a market that the residents of the Seam used for trading items—legal or otherwise. This trading center quickly bustled with Seam folk who relocated their trading from their homes and from the streets. Smoke furled from the old chimney, the old furnace still able to provide enough heat for the building. With a comfortable place for vendors to haggle their wares, soon even the Peacekeepers and merchant fold came looking for hard to find items, all welcomed as long as no one asked questions.

All of a sudden a figure jumped down from a tree with a rustle and landed on all fours on the ground. It was so unexpected that Robin dropped his turkey in surprise and the next thing he knew a pair of handcuffs was clasped around his wrists. "Ha! Gotcha!" The Peacekeeper crowed.

He was a rat-faced looking young man, with thick black sideburns down his face barely even older than him. Robin scrambled to put a name to this face but realized he had never seen him before which meant that he must be a new Peacekeeper fresh from the academy.

The young Peacekeeper narrowed his eyes and marched him towards the barracks. "I knew someone was going under the fence, wait til Egret gets a load of this!" Robin mutely followed. He couldn't protest, not when he was caught red-handed with the turkey and a full bag of game.

Silently, he bit his lip as he remembered the penalty for crossing the border was a whipping, and stealing from the Capitol was death. The thought of knocking out the Peacekeeper and making a break for it passed fleetingly through his head but his captor had an iron-tight grip on his wrists and besides, they were already inside the Peacekeeper's compound where the fences topped with barbed wire and armed Peacekeepers patrolling idly would guarantee his recapture.

His final thought was the irony that he been so anxious worrying that he would get Reaped for the Hunger Games while in the end it was his hunting that killed him.

Keeping a firm hold on his detainee, the young Peackeeper slammed open the steel door with the heel of his foot. "Head Peacekeeper Egret, look at what I've got for you!" he crowed.

When people pictured the word Head Peacekeeper, an image of a seasoned older man covered in muscles and scars was what came to mind but in District Twelve the chief position was actually held a sinewy young woman in her early thirties. Though Egret served in the district for years, arriving as a new recruit herself, Robin had never spoken to the woman. He always thought it best to avoid Peacekeepers—to remain unknown and in the shadows, as his late brother put it. But from what he had heard Egret was pretty decent, as far as Head Peacekeepers in Twelve were. For the most part her Peacekeepers only ever did the bare minimum, letting minor misdemeanors slide as long as it didn't interfere with their District's coal quota.

When they entered she had been typing up a report at the computer, not even turning around in her chair at the sound of the door slamming against the wall.

"What are you wasting my time with now, Cray?"

"I've finally caught him! The guy that keeps on going under the fence. You told me I was wasting my time but oh no, here he is! And guess what, you wouldn't believe what he's been doing, he's got this turkey and-" The Peacekeeper was rooting through his bag now. "Rabbits, some wild strawberries, wild tubers, hell this boy must be eating better than most of this shithole District." He turned around, his eyes lighting up with energy. "Well, what do you think? Public execution for sure, I get to do the honours. This calls for a promotion, am I right?"

The Head Peacekeeper sighed and finally whirled her chair around to face them. Her tawny golden eyes widened at the sight of Robin and for a second he thought he saw a flicker of something, interest or maybe recognition. It must have been a trick in the light though, he thought. He couldn't remember giving her a reason to remember him.

The silence seemed to stretch on for a lifetime as he waited for her to condemn him to his death.

"Let him go, Cray," she finally said.

"Huh?" Cray practically fell over in shock. "Wait what?" he sputtered and looked back and forth at them in disbelief. "He was clearly outside the boundaries of District 12 poaching on Capitol property and you're letting him go?"

"Yes." Her voice was firm and she walked over to snatch the turkey from his hand. "I don't know about you but I like fresh meat every once in awhile too, not the slop that passes as beef in the butcher's, understand?"

His eyes darted from the turkey to his superior. " I-I understand ma'am."

"Good. Now I want you to take the bird to the canteen before it spoils. Tell the cooks to make sure that everyone on duty tonight gets a slice."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Cray, your dismissed," said Egret as she nodded towards the door. "And close the door behind you."

"What about-"

"I said get out!"

Casting a final dark look at Robin and muttering something unintelligible under his breath he strode out the room and slammed the door shut, leaving him with alone with the woman Head Peacekeeper.

"So." She studied him with her curious tiger-like eyes. Robin, who had not uttered a single word during this entire arrest lowered his eyes and gulped. "Not much of a talker are you?"

"No ma'am." His voice shook.

She sighed and strangely her face broke into an almost motherly smile as she relaxed her shoulders. "Cray's not a bad guy, really. Sure he's upset he got assigned to the worst possible District but he'll get used to it and realize soon enough that no amount of proving himself will get him bumped up to a better one."

He nodded mutely, not trusting himself to speak.

"I'll tell everybody to turn a blind eye to your hunting like I do to the Hob." He must have looked surprised because she started laughing. "What, you think I'm blind and deaf? There isn't anyone in the district who doesn't know about the Hob, but as long as it's not interfering with the Capitol's coal shipments I'll let it slide, my job is to keep the peace. I let the people do what they want if it prevents a riot. Do you think that I keep the fence powered down just to save electricity? "

Robin shrugged, in all honesty he had never thought about it.

"I keep it off because it's not needed. The coal taken from here is for steel production and other manufacturing. We get abundant electricity from the nuclear plants like everyone else. I keep the fence off because it's a pain to maintain and repair. I would never let Cray hang anyone, it would take too much to repair the rapport I've built up over the years."

He took a deep breath and let it out. "Thank you," he managed to choke out. It was the very least he could say to someone who had just saved his life.

She wasn't done with him yet. "Are you still in the Reapings? Or are you in the mines yet?"

"My last Reaping's this year, I start in the mines the day after." She nodded thoughtfully.

"Good luck then. Other than that you're dismissed. Just try not to be obvious about hunting and you'll be fine."

He practically ran out the Peacekeeper compound in relief, only realizing he had left his game bag in her office when he was halfway home but he didn't care, he had just slipped out from death by the skins of his teeth and only had one more Reaping to survive until he was free forever from the menace of the Hunger Games. And also, he thought giddily, he didn't have to hide his hunting from the Peacekeepers either, in fact they might potentially turn into his best customers now.

.

No one in District 12 took the final year of school seriously, or was expected to. For the majority of the students, they were just basically biding their time until they were allowed to work in the mines in the Seam or start taking over their family business in town. The Keytons had made it explicitly clear that he would in no way take over the apothecary if he were to marry Ruth and later in private she had insisted that she would be fine living with him in the Seam. He had finally mustered up the courage to give her the bracelet he had originally tried to give her in Spring Harmony Day all those years ago, and she had cried as he slipped it over her wrist.

One day at school, a rumour spread about the butcher's daughter, Mahra, claiming that she had married the stationary shop owner's son, Theodore. Not just engaged, as it commonly happened during the senior year, but the couple actually signed the documents and celebrated their public toasting. It was normally unheard of to marry before the final Reaping, elderly woman in the Seam who practised the old customs believed it simply tempted fate.

The rumour seemed to be true because in homeroom Mahra was flaunting her ring to everyone who wanted to see it (and quite a few people who didn't). There were quite a few hushed snickers as girls whispered behind their hands at her retreating back as they looked down their nose at her. Robin knew why, it was because even though her stomach might be flat now, there was only one reason to get married before the Reaping.

He turned to the left side of the room where shy, bespectacled Theodore was receiving hearty slaps on the back and congratulations from the boys in the class. He adjusted his glasses and laughed along with the good-natured ribbing, Robin couldn't help be impressed. He didn't think he had in him.

Suddenly Mahra stopped right in front of his desk. "Look Ruth, REAL diamond, take a good look because it's the only chance you'll get to see one up close," she cackled, waving her ring in front of Ruth's unimpressed face. The diamond was about the size of a speck of sand, if not smaller but still a luxury that only the merchants could afford. In the Seam a ring of beaten brass was what passed as a wedding band, Mahra knew that and was only rubbing in how much Ruth had lost by choosing Robin. She moved on to show another group of girls and Ruth rolled her eyes. Under the desk her hand found his.

"I can't afford diamonds," he said apologetically.

She shook her head and smiled. "It's alright. I don't want diamonds anyway, I want you," she whispered and bent her head close to his.

They were a strange looking for sure, he thought. In more ways than one. Not only was he just a poor coal miner he was a rather small man, Ruth was actually a couple of inches taller than him, making them an awkward looking pair and every day he almost couldn't help but think that he didn't deserved her love, that he wasn't worthy of her ideals. One day, he decided, when he could start making more money in the mines he would take out the money he and his brother had saved up, not to buy her an expensive ring but a home where they could be happy. All he had to do was survive the final Reaping.

.

With trembling hands, Robin continued to rub his sweaty palms against his clothes. He watched in terror as the Capitol escort plucked a single slip from the girl's Reaping bowl. He began praying,

Not Ruth. Not Ruth. Not Ruth.

"Gretta Smith!"

He let out a sigh of relief when a skinny girl wearing a dress made from a tesserae grain sack stepped up to the stage, then silently apologized as he knew at least one person out there who would be mourning their daughter, sister or friend.

"And now for the boys!"

Finally. The moment of truth. He realized that his entire life depended on this one moment, he would either soon die in the arena or be married to the girl he loved.

"Theodore Gillespie!" There was a sharp intake of breath from the audience follows by a hushed silence.

Then someone started screaming.

Mahra pushed her way to the front of the crowd and clutched the railing of the stage with both hands gazing at the escort desperately. "You can't, he's my husband just choose someone else, please you can't take him away!" she begged.

The escort this year wrinkled her nose and looked down at her patronizingly. "I'm sorry dear but rules are rules. But you should be proud, your husband is going to represent District 12 in the Hunger Games, how many girls can say that hmmm?"

Mahra began to tremble with both fear and indignation. "YOU BITCH!" The Peacekeepers moved in quickly to restrain the rabid girl, kicking and screaming. "NO THEO, DON'T LET THEM TAKE YOU!"

But he had no choice. With his eyes closed and just a single tear escaping down his grim face, Theodore quietly took his spot on the stage.

The crowd watched and murmured unhappily, because what could be worse than two people in love being separated so that one had to watch the other die? No matter how the Capitol would spin it as a tragic tale of star-crossed lovers, what happened that day was ugly and everyone knew it.

Robin frowned from his spot in the crowd and looked at the ground because he couldn't stand watching the Capitol's show anymore. Theo was no fighter, he was the type of boy who wrote love poems and then blushed when he slipped them in Mahra's desk, who carried spiders outside on a scrap of paper because he couldn't bear to kill them, he was the kind of person who wouldn't last ten minutes in the Games, Robin thought darkly.

.

It turned out he was wrong, Theo didn't even last five. He was cut down at the bloodbath by a Career's throwing knife halfway to the cornucopia. Despite being on the other side of the district, Robin could have sworn that he heard Mahra's scream when the grisly moment happened—as did most everyone. That summer two more pine boxes arrived for the tribute cemetery, and Mahra's stomach grew bigger.

.

Robin stuck his hands in his pocket and tilted his head up to watch the flock of geese flying past in the typical V, it was too soon for their usual migration but his father had taught him and his brother the signs of a hard winter long ago, back when he was still too small to know how cruel life could become.

"It's going to be a cold one this year," he remarked to Raven. He followed a thick yellow and black caterpillar covered in a bushy coat crawl on the top of his grave with his eyes. "Hard time to be an unwed mother with a newborn baby."

"You're talking about me aren't you?" an accusing voice rang out from behind him.

Robin whirled around guiltily to see Mahra, arms across her stomach which was peeping from the bottom of her shirt.

"For your information I won't be an unwed mother, come winter I'll be Mrs. Mellark, the baker's wife," she sniffed, with a surprising amount of dignity for a woman in her condition.

Robin mumbled an apology and turned away. It was the first he heard of it but he wasn't exactly surprised, marrying a pregnant woman to take care of her and her child was exactly the sort of thing Dannel would do. He cared about people, and that compassion no doubt drew him to Mahra.

"It was nice of him to offer," she continued, "even though he's not in love with me." Her voice wavered at the last bit. "He's still not over Ruth you know. But I need a husband and he needs a wife, he said he'll love my baby and raise it as his own and I don't doubt him." She laid a bouquet of white lilies across Theo's grave.

"I'm sorry about what happened. You know, with Theo," he ventured when he thought it was the polite thing to say.

Her lips tightened and she shook her head. "He never had a chance. Not like your brother, he was a real fighter, he was." She sighed. "Too many people die in these damned Games, I just hope," a worried expression flashed across her face and she rubbed her stomach. "This one doesn't ever get reaped. I don't know what I'd do if I had to lose my only bit that I have to remind myself of Theo." She closed her eyes in grief, her sorrow found its way down her face dripping in big wet splotches the ground.

"He was the only person who ever loved me you know. Nobody in my family loved me because they all wanted a big strapping boy to help with the butchering and instead they got was a weak useless girl." She took a shuddering breath and let it out slowly. "Theo was the only one who ever said I was pretty and clever and talented, he made me feel like I had worth, he made me feel like I mattered to someone. And now he's gone."

Turning in a slow circle, Robin gazed at all one-hundred stone slaps. He too wanted to stop the Games but wondered gloomily if anything could stop the madness. Reading the name of another forgotten tribute, Robin suddenly felt very small in the world, and thought, What part, if any, could I possibly play?

* * *

The day after his final reaping, Robin began work in the mines. Though somewhat exposed to the mines his whole life, actually joining the workforce came as a shock to Robin who later confessed to Ruth that his first month underground felt like a year.

Twelve hour shifts six days a week plus the ache in his back and the pounding in his head meant little time for anything other than work and sleep. Each day started with travelling down the slow rickety shaft for what felt like ages, where the sunlight would flash by and plunge them into darkness until they ended up in the musty underground.

He worked in tunnelling, cutting long drifts horizontally while removing the section of coal and leaving the column to support the mine roof. Remove too little and the team wouldn't fill the quota, remove too much and the mineshaft would collapse. Everyday was a gamble where he was wondering if this breath would be his last.

But the biggest hazard that the older men warned him about was the volatile and combustible coal dust and methane gas that inevitably floated and spread throughout the mine. They showed him the canary caged at the entrance, "If the canary stops singing and dies it means the levels of gas are too high, leave everything and get the hell out." Because they used of all things, antiquated gas lanterns as their light sources underground in a place where even the smallest spark or ignition flame could cause massive explosions.

Apparently it wasn't always like this, the oldest of the old-timers reminisced. Before the rebellion they had electric lights and proper ventilation along with machinery to do most of the work, but after the Capitol took the modern technology away as punishment for rebelling. They promised that if District 12 proved to be a loyal little District then the Capitol would consider bringing modernized equipment back, or so they've been told, but for now Robin coughed and kept his ears pricked for the canary's song.

Still, there was one good thing about the mines and that was the steady work. Hunting wasn't always reliable, especially during the winter months where few plants grew and game was lean and dormant. He continued to save up until he was able to buy a cheap brass ring from the blacksmith in town.

.

"I got married Raven," he told his brother. "We had the toasting and everything. It wasn't exactly a big celebration because I have nobody on my side and Ruth's family didn't come but we're officially married now and-" he paused.

"We have a house. It was what we were saving up for, and I bought it." He suddenly felt shy.

"But how do I be a husband?"

A gust of wind blew by but there was no response. If anything, his grave seemed strangely more silent than usual, and then like a blow to the heart it hit him.

What answer could Raven possibly have for him? Because for the first time ever, standing here in front of his gravestone Robin was actually older now than his brother was when he died, and would continue to grow older and do all the things Raven never had a chance to do. A stubborn lump was caught in his throat and he brushed at his eyes when he realized that from now on, Robin was the older brother.

.

"Hey, Robin, you had a brother that died in the Games right?" The question was asked almost casually, almost conversationally.

In the mines as their pickaxes swung and buckets filled with coal the men had nothing to do but talk. At first if anyone had anything to say to him it was to make ribald jokes about how he managed to sweep Ruth off with him to the Seam. Once in a blue moon a man in the merchant quarter might choose a pretty Seam bride but nobody had ever heard of a girl from the town coming down to the Seam. He had quickly grown tired of the stale jokes which eventually faded until he was just that quiet boy who didn't like to talk. Until now.

He turned to the man who asked him the blunt question. "Yeah, why?"

The man shrugged as he brought his pickaxe down striking the coal seam until the black chunks scattered to the ground. "Lost my sister a couple years back. You know Hawthorne over there? His aunt and cousin were in the Games. Two kids a year doesn't seem like a lot but here in little ol' District Twelve it adds up until there's a whole bunch of angry people thinking what's the frickin' point?"

Robin felt nervous about the almost-rebellious tone in his voice. "Well, it's what's written on the Treaty of Treason, what can we do?"

The other man leaned in to whisper, "Actually there's something we can do. You know Merle Undersee from the District bank?"

Robin nodded. He had seen him sometimes when he made his deposits, always kind and courteous, ("how are you, do you do") to merchant and Seam alike.

"He and Haymitch are up to something, something bigger than all of us. They're looking for others, people who have lost someone and are angry at the Capitol. Apparently they also have Egret in on it, she had a brother in the Games one year." The man licked his lips and looked around nervously, "I don't know what they're gonna do but they want something to go down and they need to know how much support they have. What do you think"

Robin turned away and as the more he thought about it, the more the man's words made sense. He knew Merle had married the niece of their first victor, Mariselle Donner, who lost her twin back in Haymitch's Games. If anybody had any sort of power or influence outside of District 12 it was their victors. Plus, if they even had the Head Peacekeeper was on their side then something could actually happen in District 12, but what would the outcome be? A chilling sense of foreboding prickled at the back of his neck. "What they're doing is dangerous, it's too risky and it'll just blow up in their faces if they try anything," he mumbled.

The man shrugged cryptically and they returned to their work in silence.

.

He never thought about rebellion again until a year later. He kept busy, always working, hunting, trading, and taking care of Ruth until one day she shyly showed him the tiny baby booties she had been knitting and a thrill went through his stomach at the thought of being a father.

It called for a celebration so with a bit of money in his pocket he set off to the bakery in town for something nice to treat Ruth.

When he stepped into the bakery Dannel and Merle who were talking over the counter in hushed tones suddenly stopped and stared at him. Robin stared back. If he could remember correctly they must have been second cousins. Before anyone could say anything a high-pitched screech came from somewhere behind the bakery.

"DANNEL YOU SLOB COME BACK HERE AND PICK UP YOUR DIRTY DISHES FROM THE KITCHEN!" All three men jumped and Dannel cringed.

"Coming, darling." He disappeared behind the wooden shutters and Merle and Robin both looked away and pretended not to hear the shrill voice berating him for being a lazy slob who never picks up after himself and left a mess behind for her to clean up and dammit no one ever helped her with anything around here!

Suddenly Robin felt a surge of gratefulness for Ruth and decided to pick a cookie as well. Hearing a clamor of dishes deposited into a sink, Dannel soon returned to the store counter, wiping his brow with his handkerchief. "Phew, those hormones eh?" he joked.

"I HEARD THAT!"

There were more shouts about how he was a sexist pig before the sound of a baby crying joined the din. Mahra abruptly stopped shrieking and all they heard were gentle coos from the back room that Robin had a hard time believing were coming from the same woman.

"Erm, how can I help you Robin?" Dannel asked, turning back to him.

"Can I have two slices of that cake over there? And a sugar cookie."

Dannel grabbed a cookie with a sheet of wax paper and dropped it in a paper bag. Then he carefully placed two slices of white cake into a small box and tied it with twine.

"Special occasion?" he asked with a raise of his eyebrow.

"Sort of," Robin said carefully. "We're expecting."

Dannel clapped his hands delightedly,"Oh congratulations, here it's on the house," he beamed as he handed the package to Robin.

Robin flushed and suddenly felt shy. "Oh no, I couldn't accept it."

Dannels face fell. "Please, take it, as a present for Ruth at least," he pleaded.

He's still not over Ruth you know. Feeling sorry for the poor baker Robin decided that it was the last he could do for him to accept his gift.

"How are things with Mahra?" he asked politely, out of obligation more than anything.

Dannel shrugged. "We... might not see eye to eye sometimes but I have to admit I do like having her around the bakery."

Robin was surprised. It must have showed because Dannel pointed to the cakes on display in front of the windows. "I can't do more than simple squiggles myself but Mahra's really good with them." He walked over to take a look and saw that they were decorated with frosted images on top, a bed of flowers, a bird, a face. Back at school he remembered that Mahra always was the best artist in their class.

Suddenly he felt curious. "Are you..." he hesitated, wondering if he was crossing a boundary. "Are you happy with Mahra?"

A flash of something flitted across Dannel's face. He smiled, but the smile didn't seem to reach his eyes. "I'm happy enough."

Happy enough? The words bothered him all through the next few weeks. Robin thought of his own life. When it came to Ruth his life was perfect, but other than that he was always tired and never had enough time for more than working and sleeping. Just looking around the mines one day he realized that they were mostly young men because most died from miner's cough before they were able to grow old. Then the Reapings came and the cold truth that one day his child turn twelve and become eligible to be taken away for the Games hit him. It gripped and squeezed him until he couldn't breathe when he remembered it was the reason he didn't have a brother. This was his life, but was Robin happy? Was he satisfied with the way things were?

He still didn't know when elections for the next mayor were held. It was more of a figurehead role more than anything, everybody knew the District 12 Mayor didn't have any power whatsoever over the things that really mattered, that was up to the Capitol.

Still, as Robin stood in the voting poll and chewed his pencil thoughtfully, he looked down the list of candidates, merchants all of them, and found himself circling Merle Undersee. Not because he had any rebellious ideation, but because Merle had always been nothing but kind to him.

.

During the ceremony, Merle was sworn in and Robin clapped dutifully along with the crowd and waited for something to happen, but nothing ever did.

Weeks passed and nothing changed.

There was absolutely no difference in District 12. The gallows stayed empty, the whipping posts collected dust, the Peacekeepers turned the other way for most things, and Robin trudged to the mines almost everyday with a defeated weary-cattle feel, telling himself he wasn't disappointed.

* * *

 **A/N I feel bad for doing this but Robin's Song can best be understood by reading Locked and Loaded, especially Raven's POV chapters and maybe Niko's as well.**


	3. Chapter 3

With the coming of the crisp fall the autumn leaves turned red and orange like flames on the treetops, everybody dug out threadbare scarves and hats to guard against the bite of the cool air. The woodlands crabapples matured into a rosy colour and tempted a few brave souls to slip under the fence to harvest them, and as the winds tugged at the flame-coloured leaves swaying before the Everdeen bedroom window Ruth gave birth to a grey-eyed dark-haired boy. But when Robin looked at him, he saw someone else and as he held his son in his arms for the first time he felt a connection to a person that was still a part of him after all these years.

"Ruth," he turned to her, his voice was full of emotion when he looked at her with tears already beginning to fall.

She gave him a small smile and touched his hand. "It's ok Robin, I understand." And so they named their son Raven in honour of his brother who he missed everyday.

The new father lightly rubbed the fine, blood stained hairs between his fingers and became fascinated by their feather-like softness. When he studied his son's face, Robin had an inkling that his son might look like his late brother. He gently pressed his forehead against his sleeping son's and whispered, "I love you, Raven. I always will."

.

When he had a day off he brought his son to visit his uncle at the first chance he got, the leaves crunching under his feet. "You have a nephew now," he said to his brother's grave. Raven was wrapped in a blue blanket in his arms to protect him from the autumn chill, still asleep.

"Ruth says it's too soon to tell, but I think he has the Everdeen look. We named him after you. I'm hoping he gets to grow as tall and strong too." Pausing with reflection, Robin diverted his gaze back to his son. "I'm sure he'll be brave as well. Ruth and I want another child. Not too many, but we agreed that two would be perfect. And I'm sure Raven will be a wonderful big brother, just the way you looked after me." There was no reply from the cold stone but he knew that wherever he was, Raven was smiling.

Later he was taking a walk with his son in the square, just showing him the lamp posts and birds and people walking by when he ran into Dannel carrying a sack of flour across his back.

"Hello Robin," he greeted him cheerfully. "Heard the good news about you and Ruth, is that him?"

Dannel bent over and made a funny face. "Hi little guy!"

Raven blinked his large grey eyes and suddenly began to chuckle.

"He likes you," Robin admitted.

"Babies usually do," he beamed. "You know, my younger son's just his age. Bring him over to the bakery sometime, maybe they could be friends when they start school, eh?"

"M-maybe." Robin was touched. Not a lot of people in town wanted to have anything to do with people from the Seam, it was main the reason why some people had a hard time understanding how Ruth had left the town for him. But at this point, talking with the kindly baker and Merle Undersee in office it seemed possible that the divide between the town and the Seam wasn't so big and the two groups had more alike than they thought.

The next time he needed to trade in town he brought Raven. It felt good to have company with him, in a way it was like having his brother back.

Strolling down the dirt roads Robin began to imagine his son as a man grown, he pictured him drawing back his bowstring, taking aim like a real hunter and he realized excitedly that with his help they could haul in larger game together as a team, father and son and suddenly he couldn't wait for his son to become old enough to take under the fence.

He opened the door to the familiar jingling bell of the bakery and the scent of fresh bread. He preferred to trade when Mahra wasn't around, marriage had made her bitter and when she wasn't shouting at Dannel she was sneering down her nose anybody from the Seam, and that included Robin and Ruth.

It was just Dannel today, who brightened when he saw him. "Hello Robin, brought your son with you eh? Me too." Under his arm he held a fat blond baby idly banging a rattle against the counter.

"Look Rye, your daddy's friend brought a friend for you." He heaved him him up across his shoulder. Rye glanced at the Everdeens, then back at his father and hit him across the face with his rattle.

The two men both laughed and a pleasantly warm feeling began radiating from his chest when Dannel called him his friend. In the end he left the bakery with a generous amount of bread and bright hopes for the future.

.

Now that he was a father he was keenly aware of the pain he would feel to have his son ripped from him to die in the Hunger Games. He kept his ears pricked for any mention of insurgence and began secretly fighting a cold war against the Capitol.

It started with just casually chucking rock along with coal in their buckets to dilute the shipments. The Capitol couldn't figure out where it was coming from or punish all of them or else there would be no one left to mine coal so the government patiently waited—telling the mine supervisors that the miners simply needed to be more careful.

Then in town graffiti started showing up stating the odds were never in their favour, but with both the mayor and Peacekeepers looking the other way no one could pinpoint the perpetrator. It was small, but people whispered that things were only rising and that the two victors were planning something big. There was a change in the atmosphere, a crackling anticipation for what was to come and with it a camaraderie that they were all in it together, town and Seam against the common enemy which was the Capitol.

Until the sickness came. Nobody knew what it was or where it came from. An older miner in the Seam developed a cough, which normally wouldn't raise an eyebrow but then it turned into a burning fever where he burned up despite the frigid winter and babbled incoherently. He had convulsed on the Everdeen's makeshift table outside while Ruth tried to nurse him and then suddenly stopped dead.

Ruth was afraid, she had never seen anything like it and she didn't know how to treat it. It spread through the Seam like a wildfire, but for the most part its victims were the very young and the very old. It somehow spread to Victor's village where old Madelyne Donner, the first Victor of District 12 fell ill, and only then did the Capitol rush its expensive medicine to the district. Still, despite the Capitol's best science the old victor and many more eventually succumbed.

When Madelyne died, all hope for the growing rebellion died with her and the District was quiet once again as if in mourning. The next summer came and Haymitch was like a lost child at the Reaping, not knowing what to do without his own mentor to guide him. Two more teenagers were Reaped and two more teenagers died, but Robin could only mourn his poor son who died in his arms before he even had a chance to watch him grow up.

He couldn't remember a worse feeling than being able to nothing while the person he loved was dying, it was like watching his brother bleed out on screen all those years ago, he couldn't save him and the guilt ate at Robin until Ruth was begging him to stop crying. The next time he visited his brother's grave he asked him to take care of his son for him up above, and then apologized for always asking so much of Raven when he had never asked anything of him.

Despite their grief, Robin and Ruth eventually decided to rebuild their family.

.

He walked into the bakery where Dannel was chasing a very naked Rye crawling across a spilled bag of flour. "Rye no!" He exclaimed in exasperation as he scooped him up. He heard the tinkle of the bell and turned to see Robin.

"Oh Robin, I-I heard about your son," he said awkwardly, fully aware his own son was very much alive and wiggling in his arms. He cleared his throat. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, Dannel." His voice sounded strange to his ears. "It's nobody's fault." He dropped some money on the counter and Dannel quietly bagged his order. His own wife was pregnant with another child too, but he knew better than to suggest they would be friends.

Robin shouldered his lunch and dinner and grimly headed to the mines for his double shift. Capitol medicine was expensive, even when it didn't work and he had about a month of extended hours ahead on his loan. For the next few weeks he left the mines aching and tired with nothing on his mind than sleep.

In the end, any small acts of rebellion stopped as they returned to the coal mines, hunched and defeated. It was easier to resent the town who was miraculously unscathed by the sudden sickness than the Capitol which had rushed over the medicine when Madelyn fell ill- which was of course the point.

* * *

His second child was a daughter. He and Ruth had been thinking of names for a girl so when the blessed day arrived they named their daughter Katniss, after the edible underwater tuber with arrow shaped leaves. That way as long as she found herself she would never starve, he joked.

As he held the wrinkled bundle in his arms he pictured her as a young woman, strong and beautiful with slate-grey eyes framed with long lashes and long dark hair in a braid. She would have a voice that could make the birds go silent, he decided, and all he wished for was her happiness.

However baby Katniss cried rather than sing. Day and night, when she was hungry and when she was full, when she was wet and when she was dry. Ruth who never had a break from her unrelenting wails handed the baby to her husband, "I'm scared I'm just going to go crazy one day," she stated with tired red-rimmed eyes.

Robin, who had the luxury of spending half his days in the mines where it was blissfully quiet except for the striking of metal against rock wouldn't say no. He took Katniss in his arms and gently bounced her up and down, but she continued to scream lustily. At least they knew her lungs were strong and robust, he thought. Not knowing what else to do, he took her for a walk down the dusty lanes of the Seam to the edge of a bordering meadow, and when reached an empty stretch he began to sing his brother's favourite song.

Now I think I understand,

How this world can overcome a man

Like a friend we saw it through,

In the end I gave my life for you

She didn't stop crying right away, but slowly her shrieks became quieter and quieter until she was just watching him with her big curious eyes and reaching up with her tiny baby hands to touch his face. Robin chuckled, then began to laugh when he realized that his voice didn't just make the birds go silent, it made his daughter go silent too. Before long Katniss was chuckling away too, just happy that her father was happy.

Weeks passed and Robin held his breath but Katniss stayed healthy and continued to grow bigger and bigger until one day he was holding her in his arms in the square to watch that summer's mandatory broadcast. Around him he could see the other parents with their own young children. All around him were grim-faces and white-knuckled hands as the parents tightened their grips on their children as if fearing for them, already dreading the Reapings that their children would face in the years to come.

On screen the countdown timer reached zero and the tributes made a mad dash to the golden horn in the middle of the field. Within minutes the girl from Twelve went down, with her dark hair in a braid fluttering upwards as her lips parted in surprise, and for a second Robin saw Katniss on the holo-screens.

In his arms Katniss made a panicked noise and he realized he was squeezing her too tightly. Never before had he so desperately wanted to cover his daughter's eyes with his hands but what good would it do? She would learn eventually, if not in school then from each year's mandatory broadcast that she would be old enough to join the gruesome death-battle for no reason other than having the misfortune of being born in the Districts.

Later that evening he was drinking bitter tree-bark tea, a substitute for coffee in the Seam with Ruth as they watched Katniss play. She stacked block after block on top of each other in a wobbly tower until it was too tall for her to reach. Katniss stared at it thoughtfully with toddler-like attention, then grabbed a block from the bottom. She jumped back as the tower of blocks came crashing down onto the floor. Giggling and clapping with glee, the little girl plopped herself down and returned to the process of rebuilding.

"She's too young to understand," Ruth said softly. "When do we tell her?"

"We'll tell her when she turns twelve," Robin said firmly, dreading the day her name would enter the Reaping bowl. "We'll tell her everything. About her uncle... and Maysilee, we'll tell her together." They only wanted to keep her safe from fear and heartbreak a little longer but life had other plans for little Katniss.

.

"Daddy why did Willow have to die? Did I do something bad?" A frown creased her three year old forehead and she tugged on his sleeve insistently.

Robin shook his head sadly as he watched his wife dress tiny stillborn Willow, the size of a doll with her eyes closed as if asleep in one of Katniss' old dresses. "It's not your fault sweetheart, sometimes things just happen and it's nobody's fault."

"If I was a better sister would Willow still be alive?"

Robin blinked back the tears that threatened to overflow his reddened eyes. Taking a deep, calming breath, he forced a smile and said. "Katniss, you're already the best sister in the world, but nothing could have saved Willow."

Katniss launched herself into his arms and buried her face in his wet shirt. He held her tightly, feeling her sobs wrack her small body as she cried for the sister she would never get to love.

.

Later the following year Robin awoke one night to see Katniss on her tip toes, hands clenched around the bars of the cradle. Her wide grey eyes were reflected by the moon's light, watching baby Prim's tiny chest rise and fall.

"Katniss, what are you doing?"

"Making sure Prim's still breathing."

He yawned. "Go to sleep sweetheart, your sister's fine."

She shook her head, not taking her eyes off Prim. "She might not, she might all of a sudden stop breathing, and die too." Katniss knew she had an older brother who died before she was born and she had buried a sister she couldn't save, but she finally had Prim and she wasn't going to let another sibling disappear from her life.

"Katniss," Robin said sternly. "Bed."

She slunk off silently to her small bed on the other side of the room and crawled under the covers, still watching precious golden Prim. And as her exhausted father promptly fell back to sleep, Katniss vigilantly stared into Prim's cradle, watching and listening until an hour later when she herself fell unknowingly into a deep slumber.

.

Soon after the birth of his second daughter, the biggest piece of gossip around the Seam was poor cuckolded Robin Everdeen. Whenever he walked by the women hanging up their laundry or shucking corn they would look away and fall silent but as soon as his back was turned the giggles would start up again and he could practically feel their judging stares on the back of his head.

At least the men were more up-front and told him right in his face, "Hey Robin, don't let your wife pick up bread at the bakery anymore, who knows what else she's picking up!" Hoots and laughter galore from men too dumb to know better.

"Just shut up," he grumbled and slapped on his helmet.

But eventually this too became old news and eventually the teasing and gossiping faded away. He trusted Ruth and he knew in his heart that Prim was his which was all that mattered.

One day he opened the door into their house, only to be greeted with silence. Something was odd, Ruth usually had something cooking in the kitchen at this time and Katniss would come running to greet him. A chilling sense of foreboding ran down his spine.

"Hello?" he called hesitantly.

He walked inside to see Ruth rocking on her armchair but there was no emotion at all on her blank face. It scared him. "Ruth? Where are the girls?" He was almost afraid of the answer.

Her eyes blinked as if suddenly seeing him for the first time. "They're-they're playing outside in the garden." Robin dashed outside and to his relief Katniss was happily pulling baby Prim on her toy wagon while they munched on mint leaves.

He turned back to Ruth. "What happened?"

She shook her head and tears began falling. "I-I went to visit my parents today. Oh Robin I was so stupid." His heart lurched, sensing what she was about to say.

"I-I thought, maybe with Prim... she's so pretty I thought my parents would love her and forgive me."

"Shhhh, it's alright," he pulled her into his arms and laid her head across his shoulder.

"They slammed the door in my face! Katniss didn't even know what was happening, I only told her we were going into town to go shopping, she kept asking me who those mean people were and-" she began to sob. "They were her grandparents."

His heart lurched, because he knew why she had tried. Robin had nobody on his side of the family, if anything ever happened to him and Ruth, Katniss and Prim would end up in the community home like he and his brother had. He couldn't think of anything to say that could comfort Ruth so instead he heated some soup and made her eat it.

Ruth picked at her bowl and sulked while Robin worried and watched her from the corner of his eye. Luckily for her parents Katniss had plenty to say, sparing everyone from an uncomfortable silence.

"Daddy, what's a whore?" Katniss said unexpectedly.

He sighed and pressed a head to his throbbing temple. "It's a very bad word that doesn't belong in our home. Now finish your soup, Katniss."

.

When Katniss became old enough for the District school, Ruth decided to start setting up a small apothecary business in their house, so they could have something to fall back on in case anything happened to Robin.

They grow up so fast, he mused on his way to the mines, seeing the line of children, almost like ants walk the other direction into the town.

"How was your first day of school Katniss?" Ruth asked at dinner. "Did you make any new friends?"

She shrugged and continued eating. Katniss ate like she would never see food again, he had sometimes joked. "I guess."

"Any nice looking boys?" he teased. Ruth swatted at him playfully.

"She's much too young for boys, you know that."

Katniss frowned and paused. "This boy in my class kept staring at me, or I don't know, he might have just been looking out the window."

"Five years old and a heartbreaker." He gave Ruth a look and she blushed.

.

Robin watched Katniss carefully, trying to see if he could trust her, if she could keep a secret. He remembered his brother bringing him under the fence soon after he started school when both their parents were busy working.

"Katniss, can you keep a secret for me?" He whispered one day when she was walking him home from the mines.

"What is it daddy?" her eyes were wide and innocent.

"It's your mother's birthday in a month and you know how she really needs a new mortar and pestle?"

"Uh huh," her glowing eyes widened until they were practically moons.

"I've saved up for one at the general store, but don't let her know because I want it to be a surprise."

It only took her a week to crack, Ruth was just complaining about fishing grit out of her paste when Katniss blurted out, "It's okay cause daddy's buying you a new mortar and pestle for your birthday anyway." Then her eyes went wide and she clasped both hands over her mouth.

"I'm sorry daddy," she turned to him apologetically with her big eyes furrowed and the corners of her mouth turned down.

He sighed and gave her a smile, apparently five years old was still too young. "It's alright darling, no harm done." He hugged her tight with the understanding that he should hold back the secret of the fence for just a bit longer.

.

The spring turned into summer which turned into autumn which turned into winter. And with that winter turned into another disease coursing through the Seam and Robin felt fear tighten in his chest until he could barely breathe.

Remembering his fate of his late son, he fiercely tried to protect Katniss and especially Prim from the same. Ruth was constantly busy with the steady stream of patients who couldn't afford the doctor and Robin gave Katniss special instructions to look after Prim and stay away from the front room where their mother was working.

When the snow melted into a spring, the mild sickness disappeared as well, claiming very few casualties. Robin felt his chest finally relax. With the rebirth of spring he could resume foraging again, making up for the depleted winter which not only emptied their cupboards, but also Ruth's apothecary herbs.

But between his twelve hour shifts at the mines and hunting whenever he could, he had little time for anything else, including sleep until he realized guiltily that he had been neglecting his brother's grave and made a promise to pay him a visit as soon as he could.

"Daddy, Prim is sick," Katniss complained and held up Prim swaddled in blankets for him to see. He picked her up and scrutinized her carefully, pink cheeks, clear eyes, and leaned his ear close to her chest to listen for any signs of laboured breathing. "Did you tell your mother first? She's the healer," he said almost irritably.

"I did, and mom said she's fine but-"

"Your mother knows best dear," he said brusquely and placed Prim in her playpen. Just then the whistle went off. "Shoot I'm late!" he yelped and grabbed his lunchpail, dashing out the door.

When he staggered home he was vaguely aware of Katniss telling him something but her voice drifted off into a faint hum as he collapsed into a chair and fell into a deep sleep.

He woke up a few hours later to an empty house, looking around in bewilderment. He looked down to see a note tucked under his arm.

Went to the doctor's. Be home when we can.

-Ruth

When Robin arrived home that evening, he opened the door to find a contrite Ruth and triumphant Katniss feeding baby Prim.

"See I told you Prim was sick," she exclaimed. "But you didn't listen!"

"I'm sorry Katniss, I didn't know how I missed it," she said apologetically. She turned around to see her husband. "Oh Robin it was silent pneumonia, I just didn't expect it when after flu season was over."

Katniss whirled around and glared at her mother distrustfully, Robin was alarmed at the hostility on her face. "She could have died because you were too careless!"

"Katniss, don't blame your mother," he said sternly. "She learned her lesson, we'll both be more careful next time."

Katniss frowned and her shoulders relaxed. "Okay. But I'll be the most careful of all."

* * *

When Katniss was eight she started to notice him disappearing to for long periods of time and was old enough to wonder why and come up with her own explanations. After about her third guess where she suggested that he sneaking on the trains to visit the other Districts he decided to finally show her where he had really been going.

.

"Katniss, time to wake up," he shook her gently by the shoulder.

"Hmmm?" She yawned and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. "Is it time to go?"

"Yes."

She dressed quickly and slipped her small hand in her father's after they shut the door. The sun was not yet up when they left, the darkness hugged them like a blanket as their footsteps crunched down the gravel road. Breathing in the coal-smelling air, Robin led his daughter to the fresh scented meadow onto a circular trail where they stopped near the fence.

Under the first rays of light, Robin blew warm air into his cupped hands before asking, "Katniss, what do you hear?"

Katniss stared at him, confused.

Robin nodded towards the forest. "Can you hear the fence?"

"No," she admitted.

"Exactly," he said with a small smile. "The Peacekeepers like to pretend that the fence is electrified." He reached out with his hand while Katniss squeaked with alarm and rested his hand against the wire. "But it's not," he said, giving Katniss a small grin. "At least not all the time."

He gestured to a clump of bushes and crawled under the stretch of loose wire. Katniss hesitated, then followed. Without saying a word they took off deeper into the forest.

He stopped again at a hollow log where he bent down and reached inside to pull out a bow wrapped in oilcloth and a quiver of arrows. There was a sharp intake of breath from Katniss.

"You know what this is?"

"It's a bow." She said in awe.

"You know what would happen if anyone found out I had one?"

Katniss nodded. "They would arrest you," she said solemnly.

"Exactly."

He took her by the hand and led her deeper still. "Let me show you what I do." They got to a clearing and crouched behind a bush.

"Do you see that hare?" he whispered, nodding to the light brown bump nibbling at a blade of grass.

"Uh huh."

He got up silently, nocked an arrow against his bow, and sent it through the rabbit's skull. It was dead in less than an instant.

They jogged over and he pulled the arrow out. "You see this Katniss?"

"It's a rabbit," she noted, inspecting it up and down.

"Or it's a fresh loaf of bread from the bakery, you understand? A meal for tomorrow, another day we can live."

Her eyes lit up with understanding and her mouth formed a wide o as she stared at the rabbit then at him.

"Can you teach me?"

He ruffled her hair affectionately. "Of course."

.

Fffft

The arrows flew right past the empty cans he had set on tree stumps.

"I… missed." Katniss said as if she couldn't believe it. The corners of her mouth turned down.

He was leaning against a tree with his arms crossed as he watched her practice. "It's alright Katniss, no one's perfect on their first try. Just keep your feet centred, focus on your target, and try again."

She tried, and tried and tried, and in the end could manage about one can out of five.

"Great start Katniss," he clasped her on the back. "Let's practice more next week."

"Dad," she asked shyly as they walked back to the fence, "where did you get the bow and arrows from?"

"I made them myself, from wood I got from the forest, then I trade with the blacksmith for scraps of metal to fletch the arrows. One day I'll teach you too."

"But how did you learn all of this?" she asked.

"My father taught me. He learned it from his father, who learned it from his father, who learned it from his father." He closed his eyes thoughtfully. "I don't know where it started but it did. One day you and Prim will have your own kids and teach them as well."

On the way back Robin began to teach Katniss tree identification, explaining how maple trees could provide tasty syrup. Sliding under the fence, they passed through the town square just after lunch. She stayed silent all the way into town as she mulled it over in her head.

When they neared the bakery, inhaling the aroma of fresh-baked bread that was always present Robin decided to make a stop.

"Ah it's the Everdeens, what can I do for you?" the baker greeted them cheerfully.

"We have... a trade," he explained.

Dannel nodded and led them to the back. "Watch the counter Rye, I'll be right back," he called.

His middle son nodded and strolled to the front. That's how old Raven would have been, he thought with a pang. As if sensing his discomfort, Katniss stepped closer to her father and slipped her small hand in his.

When they were safely in the back he pulled out the rabbit from earlier in the day and handed it to Dannel, who inspected it in his hands. He offered him one loaf or three buns, and Robin let Katniss decide.

From the corner of his eye he saw Dannel's youngest boy hiding behind a bag of flour, watching them shyly. He must be about Katniss' age, he thought. Robin smiled when the flour dusted blond curls withdrew behind a corner of the room where the boy had been kneading dough that lay on a counter behind him.

"Peeta, don't be shy come over there and say hello to your father's friends," Dannel called cheerfully.

We're not friends, Robin almost said out loud before stopping himself, then feeling ashamed.

"H-hello," Peeta mumbled, not quite meeting his eye. "Nice to meet you sir a-and Katniss." Before Robin could say a word he scurried away.

"He's a bit shy," said the baker apologetically.

Robin shrugged faintly. "So was I at his age."

In the end Katniss chose three cheese buns which Rye solemnly packed in a brown paper bag for them.

"Wow dad, they're still warm," Katniss exclaimed as she opened the bag and stuck her face in the steam."We get all this from a rabbit?"

Robin laughed and placed a hand gently on her head. "The baker's a nice man. Just try to to trade with him when his wife's there though," he added almost as an afterthought.

Over the following months he taught Katniss about which berries to eat and which to avoid, how to set up fishing poles, and climb trees to wait for larger game to walk by. Before he knew it baby Prim became old enough to start school as well.

When he could, he would watch Katniss clutch her small hand firmly in hers and as they marched off to school together. He smiled at their retreating backs and his heart swelled with pride at his two beautiful girls.

.

He woke up early one morning, with a sudden urge to find his brother. He crept out bed silently, as not to wake Ruth and padded to the kitchen for a quick breakfast.

In the serene dawn he felt strangely peaceful as he walked to the tribute graveyard. His footsteps crunched through the light frost dusting the earth as he climbed the slight hill.

Unsure why, and without an expectation of a reply, Robin felt compelled to ask, "Brother, is there really peace on the other side?"

At first there was no reply. Then it began to snow lightly, like soft white feathers falling from the skies settling on top of the grey stone and the words that were engraved on it.

He started to think about his brother favourite song, the one their mother hated because of the meaning behind it, only little did she know how appropriate it would become.

I hope it's worth it  
What's left behind me,  
I know you'll find your own way, when I'm not with you

So tell everybody  
The ones who walk beside me,  
I know you'll find your own way  
When I'm not with you tonight

In the end Robin was smiling as he walked towards the mines, unknowingly entering his own epitaph.

As the elevator lowered him into his unbeknownst tomb, Robin failed to realize that he had already changed the world. And when grace found him, delivering the much needed mercy to his tired soul he realized that he wasn't afraid of death because joining his brother and parents again allowed his hurt to finally begin to fade.

.

Instilled by her father's love, Katniss would remember Robin's teaching. She would overcome mental and physical exhaustion and pick herself up off the ground, and though she would not always be aware of it, her father would continue to resonate through her, guiding her when lost. Not only would she survive, she would help others to continue living.

As Katniss's story entered her teenage years, she would not grow to be tall nor possess any great beauty, the heroine would develop stamina and a keen eye. And contrary to propaganda, Katniss would still be vulnerable, naive and untrusting to a fault. Her pride would weaken her, and under the mounting hardships, uncertainty and doubt would almost kill her.

Nevertheless, it would be her self-sacrifice, her embodied hope that would endure her to those broken and lost. She would inspire change, for this miner's daughter, embodied by her father's spirit and strengthened by grace, would at long last give voice to Robin's song.

* * *

 **And that's all that she wrote...**


End file.
